Danny and Mary Antoine sit next to one another on a loveseat inside their Franklin home. As they talk, whether about their unusually large family, or how they approach being parents to children in their karate classes and after-school program, they hold hands.
It’s their example of a loving and faith-based marriage that is the foundation for so many things. In fact, it’s what inspired two of the many children they’ve adopted to nominate Danny for the Citizen of the Year award through the Franklin Chamber of Commerce.
Aleah Mason had the idea for nomination, while Julia McRae was the one who wrote the letter.
“It’s a testament for them together – they do everything together – to willingly step into somebody’s life – especially as an adult – and walk them through things when they really don’t have to. But that’s just their heart for the Father and that’s just their heart for people,” Julia said.
“Being able to nominate my dad – with my sister – for that award was just a huge honor. They’ve given so much. I don’t say that lightly. Day and night, I showed up on their doorstep and they let me in.”
Danny and Mary Antoine met in 2005 when she was a kickboxing student. They wed in 2008.
At that time, Mary already had two daughters of her own (Aleah and Lydia), plus Danny had adopted two children from his karate school (Annie and Jamie).
Two months after their October wedding, Aleah gave birth to twins (Cameron and Kaden).
“So we had instant grandbabies,” Danny Antoine said.
The family has certainly grown over the years. The couple claims 15 children (most are adults and live on their own) and nine grandchildren.
“We ended up with that many kids because that’s what God brought to us,” Danny said.
Humble beginnings
Danny Antoine was speechless when he was announced as the winner of Citizen of the Year during the Jan. 16 Chamber banquet. Being speechless was a rare moment for the outgoing owner and founder of Danny Antoine’s Martial Arts & Fitness Academy.
“Because I’m always around people, so many people, I think that shocked me a whole lot,” Antoine said, adding that he learned on the spot that he’s uncomfortable being the center of attention. “Going up there to get the award, it was like, ‘Wow.’”
Antoine stays humble by always remembering where he came from and how he grew up.
Born in Brooklyn, New York, he and his brother were first-generation Americas from Haitian parents. They divorced when Danny was 5, and his mother took him and his brother back to Haiti.
Danny lived there until he was 13, when he returned to the United States to attend high school. He lived with his grandparents in Orlando, Florida, and by the time he was 17 he was out of the house and on his own.
“There was a lot of ‘figure this thing out,’” he said. “Figure it out super fast or you’ll be sleeping under a bridge.”
Karate brought Antoine to Franklin in 1998. He moved here with a business partner. They had different practices, and after about a year, Antoine decided to break off and start his own karate studio.
The mountains reminded him of Haiti. When he was a kid, he thought such beauty only existed on postcards. However, the transition of going from living in cities to rural life was quite shocking.
“It was a fun move,” he said, “but one of most difficult moves of my life.”
A lifestyle is born
Antoine started karate in 1994 and immediately got hooked. He was in college, and he and his brother had the inconvenience of sharing a car.
“We kinda conned my grandmother into co-signing for two motorcycles so we didn’t have to share a vehicle,” he said, laughing. “As soon as I got a motorcycle, I got a job, and karate was my first bill. And I’ve not stopped doing it ever since.”
Antoine won a world championship in 2002. It was a personal quest for him, and he rarely talks about it.
Mary only found out when she noticed a plaque on the wall.
“‘World Champion? What is this?’” Mary recalls asking. “And he vaguely skimmed by about it when I first asked him about it.”
Antoine trained hard for a year. The world championship that year was held in Panama City Beach.
For some people, karate and martial arts are a hobby. For Antoine, it’s a lifestyle.
“It changed my life,” Antoine said. “I tell people all the time: God used fighting and teaching these kids to save my life, literally, from just going down a crazy path. I got so sunk into this. It became my life.”
Expressing their gratitude
Antoine said having such a big family was never planned. He and Mary accepted the call from God to welcome each child into their lives.
While some are from Franklin, such as Aleah Mason, Lydia and her husband, Travis Shook, Tod Reitmeier and Kelly Bowles, others are from close by (Schyler Lopez is from Clayton, Georgia) to much farther away (Julia McRae is from Pinehurst; Qui Antoine is from Atlantic City, New Jersey; and Liz Lapp-Antoine is from Kazakhstan).
Others now live out West: Aubrey Jones (Utah) and Kalie Boyce (California).
“The fact that we all got to end up here in Franklin, North Carolina, and God brought us all together, it’s really amazing the way he did it,” Antoine said. “Really, really amazing.”
While most of their children are grown, live on their own and have jobs, certain things are a challenge logistically – such as when they go out to eat and request multiple tables.
“We have the most interesting conversations,” Mary said, “because everybody is always like, ‘What do you mean these are all your kids?’”
Each child has a fascinating story about how they came into their lives, Antoine said.
And they’re all tremendously appreciative of what Danny and Mary have done for them.
Tod Reitmeier said Danny has been the biggest blessing in his life. He started taking karate classes around the age of 10.
“He is literally three-fourths of the reason why I am the man I am today,” Reitmeier said.
“He deserves every ounce of everything that he got as far as the award. He’s amazing. I love him. He’s incredible.”
Being from Atlanta City, Qui Antoine – she recently took the family’s surname – never thought she’d end up in the mountains of North Carolina.
“But I’m so glad that the Lord brought me here,” she said.
Danny and Mary walked her through so many things – things she said she should’ve learned as a child.
“There’s not many words I could express my gratitude and love for them, but they have definitely taught me so much,” she said. “For my dad to receive this award is amazing.”
Cameron Mason, 11, said her grandparents’ lives should be made into a book series.
“Thank you for all you’ve done for us and for being in our lives,” she said, “because we wouldn’t be the people that we are.”
Spreading love
Some of the children work for their parents, whether it’s in karate classes, the after school program or the summer camp.
Those who attend the classes range in age from children as young as 3 or 4 years old, to adults (who take the karate classes).
Antoine’s mindset is it takes a village to raise children. And he needs mothers and fathers, not counselors, to work for him.
“Anybody can come in and babysit a kid,” he said. “Most of these kids don’t need babysitters. They need people who can give them guidance. They really need people who can give them fatherly and motherly guidance. They have enough friends. And unfortunately, they have more than enough adults trying to be their friends all day long. What they don’t have is anybody guiding them and leading them where they need to go.”
Many of the children come from single-parent households. Some don’t have either parent in their lives and are raised by their grandparents.
They need love, Antoine said, which manifests itself physically through hugs and kisses on the head, or by attending ball games and being there for the children’s after-school activities. But they also need boundaries.
“They don’t feel safe when they don’t have boundaries,” Antoine said. “When they get boundaries they transform, and it’s an awesome thing to watch. It’s an awesome thing to watch God do all the time.”
Aleah Mason has worked with the after school program for three years. However, it’s not a “job” to her.
“It’s a lifestyle for us,” she said. “How I feel about my own kids, I start to feel about them too.”
A single parent herself, Mason likes how her children are learning how to be selfless by being around the programs. And regardless of what’s going on in her personal life, that all vanishes when she sees all of the children.
“Whatever’s happened to me during the day, it’s totally gone because I have all these little ones that need me,” Mason said. “They don’t get it at home. Sometimes one of us might be the only conversation they have. We hug them and love on them.”
Liz Lapp-Antoine works with the karate classes. She also enjoys the aspect of talking to the parents and asking them about their day.
As someone who grew up with a “dysfunctional relationship” with her mom, Lapp-Antoine has learned from watching Danny and Mary.
“This is where we understand how to be daughters so that we can be mothers to other kids,” she said, gesturing toward her adopted parents. “For me, they’re one of the only examples of what marriage is supposed to look like in my life, much less parenting. So that’s how we’re able to learn how to do that, is by seeing that example right in front of us. If we’re going off a bad example, that’s what we’re gonna produce.”
While Julia and Aleah nominated Danny for Citizen of the Year, a father whose child is enrolled in karate class also submitted a nomination.
“I’m very proud of the man,” Mary Antoine said. “Our phone rings off the hook at night, and he will not deny a phone call when it’s one of those parents or babies. I’m all there with him.”
For the couple to open up their home like they have, Danny Antoine said God had to send him a woman with the same kind of heart. Mary covers him with prayers, and she’s always behind the scenes encouraging him.
“Without her, none of this would be happening this way,” he said. “It’s not just a statement: We really don’t function without each other.”